His own world
by myownlittlehell
Summary: AU Remus hasn't left his room in two years.


Disclaimer: I don't own Sirius or Remus.

There was dust all over the place. The desk in the middle of the room wobbled under the weight of books lying on it. Books about everything, from all over the world. The books didn't just cover the table, they also covered the floor and at three of the walls in the room stood mahogany bookshelves completely stuffed with them. The room was dark except one single light candle standing on a little table next to an old, red and very patched up armchair. There was only one window in the room but had curtains covering it so no light could find its way in.

The person sitting in the chair was very easy to miss just looking in to the room, not that the person minded it. This is how Remus wanted it, at least that was what he told everybody who asked. Not that there were many people how asked, in fact nobody had asked him in two years, two years since he had quit his job to work as a researcher at a paper. In those two years he had only left his room twice both times just after he quit his job. He was not a people person and going out meant meeting people so he avoided it if possible. The world outside his door scared him and every time he had tried to go outside he had failed huge and had needed to stay in bed for days after, trying to bring himself together from his breakdown.

And it was not as he was always alone, he had Sirius. Sirius was everything he was not, Sirius was rash, had lot of self- confidences and had been everywhere, you name it he has been there. Sirius never looked the same, he was always changing his hair or his stile in clothes. You never knew what he would do next. That he secretly wanted to be like Sirius was also a thing he never told anyone, it had even taken a little time to admit it to himself. The thing he loved the most with Sirius was that Sirius just suddenly was there, you never noticed when he came through the door or when he left.

He could talk to Sirius about everything and he always understand, most of the time just agreed with Remus but sometimes Sirius thought that he should go out and do something instead of just sit there and read books. Those times he hated Sirius because he knew Sirius was right. But he never hated Sirius for long since he was the only one he had. His father had died before he was born and his mother had left him at a children's home when he was three.

Remus was addicted to chocolate and would eat at least three bars a day. He would order all his food over the phone and by now the store knew exactly which sorts of chocolate he liked the most.

The day started like any other day did, he got up, ate some breakfast and sat down to read. Sirius came by around eleven to complain about the latest place he had visited, the horrible weather, the people and the room he got at the hotel. The food delivery always came at twelve and the clock had just past twelve when the doorbell rang. Remus got up and opened the door just enough for the deliveryman to give him the box with food and get the money for it. He always paid in cash when he received the food to make sure they never came more than necessary.

He closed the door and put the box on the desk. Sirius was sitting in the armchair and had a worried expression on his face. Remus raised an eyebrow to say 'What's wrong?' but Sirius just looked away. Remus just ignored him and started unpack when he saw that they store had forget his chocolate. To someone else this maybe wasn't a big deal but to Remus this was impossible, he needed his chocolate every day and all the ways to get them ended in him not getting the chocolate until tomorrow. He could not help but scream. "What am I going to do?"

Sirius just looked at him and said. "If you really need them today then I don't see any other way than for you to go out and buy some." 

Remus was getting angrier and stared at Sirius. "You know I can't go out, there are people in the store. Can't you get the chocolate?" 

"No, if you want them then you have to buy them."

Remus walked over to where Sirius sat and screamed in his face. "Why can you never do anything for someone else? Everything has to involve you to be worth doing or talk about! You're really selfish! Just do this little thing for me, please!"

"No" 

"I hate you! I hate you and I wish you would just disappear!" And then Sirius was gone. One second he had been sitting in the armchair and the next he had disappeared, just like that. Remus looked around in the room but it was empty, he was all alone. There wasn't a single trace that showed that Sirius had ever been there. He sat down in the armchair and it took a few seconds for him to realize he was staring at the door and actually thinking about leaving his room and go out. 

He stood up and walked slowly towards the door, his hands was shacking and he could feel sweat running down his forehead. He was standing just by the door, his hand reaching for the doorknob. He grasped it and thought 'If you don't do it now you will never do it. You can't fail this time.' When he turned the doorknob, his hand was steady and he opened the door.


End file.
